Xperience

We all have been through or experienced one thing or the other, it has been what made us, some see it as a challenge in which they learn lessons from while some see it has a problem or sometimes punishment from a metaphysical power which has control over their lives and indeed learn nothing from it, with time it builds up and make them worse people.

I have also had my share of challenges of which I won’t bore you with my true life story, that will be for later in my autobiography but I’ll tell you just a tip of the iceberg and go straight to my point. The major problem or let me just say the root of most people’s challenges start from the home, the home is what makes a society, an unhealthy society is bred from the home. Let’s talk about Nigeria, a typical Nigerian home has succeeded in producing children that are psychologically and emotionally battered. To me, correct me if I’m wrong, a home is a haven, a place of rest which should be filled with love, joy and happiness. We all go out every day  (I’m referring to the children now) sometimes we get picked on in school by our mates or overzealous seniors, get called by obscene names, the teacher calls you a dullard out of frustration that you can’t quickly recollect what (s)he taught you in the last class, sometimes you perform below your parent’s expectations in test or examination, then you go back home (the sole responsibility of parents is to provide food, shelter and above all protect the children) a typical Nigerian home , the parents do not even have time to ask you how your day was or to listen to what a bully did to you or what the teacher said to you in fact you might even get beaten so we prefer keeping things away from them as much as possible and some become rebellious.

I was reminiscing with my sister the other night about our childhood, if we were asked of being guilty of something, if you say the truth, we get beaten, if we don’t, we get trashed even when they ask the question it’s like no matter what the reply you give their mind is already made up, sometimes they just hit you more out of frustration and anger than correction.

Many people end up being an introvert not because they are naturally quiet but because while growing up they have been shut up for one reason or the other by their parents so they grow up believing they don’t or might not make sense when they talk in the public or fear that they might be told to shut up by a more intellectual person, some end up being shy and prefer the back of the seat where they won’t be seen, lack of confidence and so on.

 I was made an introvert, I didn’t even get the chance to explore whether I’d be an introvert or extrovert, my parents never took time to find out what’s going on in my life, so I kept to myself and found solace in reading to pass away the time and writing to express myself (my pen understands me the most). I’m a very quiet person not because that’s my nature but because I was moulded in that manner unconsciously.

The entire sermon I just told is to point out a fact that most Nigerian parents have battered and constantly violated their children’s emotions either by beating, harsh words and actions so therefore releasing broken-spirited children into the society.

Some has made choices due to that some decide or unconsciously hurt people some believe love doesn’t exist (because you can’t give what you don’t have, parents never took the time to show love or maybe they do not understand it themselves and didn’t get marry because of that). At a point it got to me, angry and not able to let out the emotions, the feeling of hurting someone else crept in, closing and distancing myself from people, sometimes I just think of paying them back in their own coins but what kind of person will that make me, a cold and heartless human and more like them.

My sister always told me there’s a reason for experiencing all that, even at home, God has a reason for it; to break, mould and make us into a better person. So the point is letting go of the hurt, I’m not saying it’s going to be an easy thing or sudden but a gradual process. Imagine how the world will be if we all decide to reciprocate every bitterness and anger, it is love that keeps us together. If you’ve been hurt before the best thing you can do is to make sure someone close to you does not experience the same thing, give a helping hand to someone, give someone hope when they least expect.

In all I decided to let go and I made a promise to myself that as long as it is in my capacity nobody close to me will not go through what I went through and to always help people in need of a helping hand. That is what makes us human, that is what makes our world a better place to live n and that is how we heal it.