Xperience

We all have been through or experienced one thing or the other, it has been what made us, some see it as a challenge in which they learn lessons from while some see it has a problem or sometimes punishment from a metaphysical power which has control over their lives and indeed learn nothing from it, with time it builds up and make them worse people.

I have also had my share of challenges of which I won’t bore you with my true life story, that will be for later in my autobiography but I’ll tell you just a tip of the iceberg and go straight to my point. The major problem or let me just say the root of most people’s challenges start from the home, the home is what makes a society, an unhealthy society is bred from the home. Let’s talk about Nigeria, a typical Nigerian home has succeeded in producing children that are psychologically and emotionally battered. To me, correct me if I’m wrong, a home is a haven, a place of rest which should be filled with love, joy and happiness. We all go out every day  (I’m referring to the children now) sometimes we get picked on in school by our mates or overzealous seniors, get called by obscene names, the teacher calls you a dullard out of frustration that you can’t quickly recollect what (s)he taught you in the last class, sometimes you perform below your parent’s expectations in test or examination, then you go back home (the sole responsibility of parents is to provide food, shelter and above all protect the children) a typical Nigerian home , the parents do not even have time to ask you how your day was or to listen to what a bully did to you or what the teacher said to you in fact you might even get beaten so we prefer keeping things away from them as much as possible and some become rebellious.

I was reminiscing with my sister the other night about our childhood, if we were asked of being guilty of something, if you say the truth, we get beaten, if we don’t, we get trashed even when they ask the question it’s like no matter what the reply you give their mind is already made up, sometimes they just hit you more out of frustration and anger than correction.

Many people end up being an introvert not because they are naturally quiet but because while growing up they have been shut up for one reason or the other by their parents so they grow up believing they don’t or might not make sense when they talk in the public or fear that they might be told to shut up by a more intellectual person, some end up being shy and prefer the back of the seat where they won’t be seen, lack of confidence and so on.

 I was made an introvert, I didn’t even get the chance to explore whether I’d be an introvert or extrovert, my parents never took time to find out what’s going on in my life, so I kept to myself and found solace in reading to pass away the time and writing to express myself (my pen understands me the most). I’m a very quiet person not because that’s my nature but because I was moulded in that manner unconsciously.

The entire sermon I just told is to point out a fact that most Nigerian parents have battered and constantly violated their children’s emotions either by beating, harsh words and actions so therefore releasing broken-spirited children into the society.

Some has made choices due to that some decide or unconsciously hurt people some believe love doesn’t exist (because you can’t give what you don’t have, parents never took the time to show love or maybe they do not understand it themselves and didn’t get marry because of that). At a point it got to me, angry and not able to let out the emotions, the feeling of hurting someone else crept in, closing and distancing myself from people, sometimes I just think of paying them back in their own coins but what kind of person will that make me, a cold and heartless human and more like them.

My sister always told me there’s a reason for experiencing all that, even at home, God has a reason for it; to break, mould and make us into a better person. So the point is letting go of the hurt, I’m not saying it’s going to be an easy thing or sudden but a gradual process. Imagine how the world will be if we all decide to reciprocate every bitterness and anger, it is love that keeps us together. If you’ve been hurt before the best thing you can do is to make sure someone close to you does not experience the same thing, give a helping hand to someone, give someone hope when they least expect.

In all I decided to let go and I made a promise to myself that as long as it is in my capacity nobody close to me will not go through what I went through and to always help people in need of a helping hand. That is what makes us human, that is what makes our world a better place to live n and that is how we heal it.

#2013

When this year started, I didn’t make any resolution but I had expectations and feelings that it was going to be a good year. The year has run out although I don’t live in a beach house in the Bahamas, or went to chill in a resort in Hawaii or drive an Aston Martin Lagonda 2016 or rock a Christian Louboutin shoe or wear Alexander McQueen (well, at least not yet) the year has been a wonderful one because of the people around me that impacted o`n me one way or the other.

I decided to walk in love and be a better person this year, although it wasn’t easy, I lost people for telling them the truth, I lost people I thought were my friends but in all I was able to be at peace with all even when they hurt me and didn’t apologize I also learned forgiveness. At a point in time I prayed to God to only bring people who will be relevant to me in life along my way, like a flash I lost many people and had a few left, this few made my year and they are……….. Wait for it………………….;

Osoba Adewale ; my crazy intellectual friend, I’m thankful for the impact you made in my life and being a source of inspiration and encouragement especially last semester, God bless you.

Okojie Okhaifo (a.k.a okha baba); even with the distance, I really appreciate your caring attitude and you encouraging me in my writing. I love you. xoxox.

Adeoye Taiwo (AIESEC mentor); I really want to thank you for your care, love, concern only God can reward you abundantly.

Oyedapo Bukunmin; my one and only archi boyfriend (LOL) thank you for caring even when I behave like an asshole, I still love you.

 Opoola Adenike; (hahahaha) my crazy friend, thanks for being a good friend to me, it’s been a while since I’ve had a friend like you, I love you a bunch, God bless you.

Akinsola Akintomide; (baba niyen) I don’t even know where to start, thank you for being there for me and for being a brother to me. God bless you and you know I love you shea.

Adegoke Obafemi; you have been a blessing to me, God bless you.

Akinsola Oluwatimilehin; my twinnie of life, only God can thank/bless you for me, you made me possible. I love you.

All of you have been good and wonderful people to me and you made the challenges of 2013 seem like nothing, I’m blessed having you guys around. God bless you all.

SILVER LINNING I

It was a stormy night, the darkness so thick one could almost feel it hovering in the air as if looking for someone to choke the life out of. It was difficult to see through it, the wind howled threatening to remove the roof from the head of the buildings, like a scared child the buildings quivered as if they could read its mind. It was the dirtiest part of the city, buildings stood in clusters, old and dirty with age. Due to the poor drainage waters from the houses emptied into the streets making them dirty and marshy even in dry season. As the rain came down heavily on the roof of the houses that night, the night became still, unlike the usual noisy night. It was as if the angel of death was passing through the night.

Kolapo adjusted the pile of clothes which he used as a pillow on his mother’s head, just then his mother went into a fit of cough, he raised her head so she could spit saliva with a taint of blood into a worn out bowl which was already filled to the quarter of it.

‘Mama sorry’, kolapo said as he raised her head to drink from an old and dirty plastic cup. Adunni nodded, and beckoned to her son to move closer. She said in a low voice almost in a whisper; 'kolapo, your children will take care of you too'.
‘Amen mama’, kolapo replied hurriedly
‘I’m sorry for not taking care of you as a mother should, hmmn' she sighed, 'but I want you to remember all I have taught you, even though I might not be around, you will always be a son I am proud of and almost importantly someone you’ll be proud of’.

‘Mama I promise to be all that you have taught me to be, but mama you will always be there for me’, he said in between sobs.
‘My son, do not cry always remember that there are better days ahead’.
Adunni coughed violently as kolapo raised her head to give her water, she gave one last cough that raked through her body then she went still. The cup fell from kolapo’s hand as he shook her violently, screaming, Mama, Mama, Mama.
He dashed outside like a mad man and ran to Mama Nkechi’s house their closest neighbor; he pounded heavily on her door.
Mama Nkechi stood close to the window and motioned to her children to keep quiet.
Kolapo pounded, screaming, 'Mama Nkechi please help my mother, she’s dying'. After a while he slumped to the ground and started crying silently exhausted he cried on and on, the rain beating heavily on him and washing away his tears like the only one that understands his pain. After a while he stood up and walked in a daze to his house, then got on the other side of the bed where his mother lay stiffly, wrapping her hands around himself he laid his head on her bosom hoping in his heart that she will wake up the next morning screaming his name on top of her voice scolding him for not waking up early with everything back to how they were, then he drifted off to sleep

As a blow hit him in his head he slumped to the dirty floor, then they began to kick him all over his body he raised his two hands to cover kicks to his face but it didn’t make any difference when he made no movement, they left him and went back to different corners of the dark cell. Kolapo lay sprawled on the floor becoming less conscious of his surrounding; a tear trickled down his right eye as he laid unable to move gradually sinking into oblivion.

The next day he woke up unable to open his eyes which was swollen from the beating, he tried to stand but a stab of pain to his ribs stopped him he moaned and laid still, preparing himself for the pain the second time he sat up the pain made him dizzy, he dragged himself to a corner his back against the wall then he closed his eyes trying very hard to fight the pain.

After the mother died, the landlord sent them away, homeless he took up petty jobs to feed himself and send himself to a public school. When he couldn’t afford the fee for his final exam in senior secondary school, he took a job at Mama Yetty’s beer parlour, loading and off loading crates of beer. Mama Yetty , a fat woman in her early fifties very popular in the area.
It was one hot afternoon, his stomach growled as he carried the crates of beer into the shop, it was the last round of crates, as two crates were lifted to his head, he balanced it as he was about to step into the shop, he staggered and lost his balance he held on tightly to the crates but his attempt was futile as he landed on fours, broken bottles flying everywhere its content spilled all over.
She screamed her eyes bulging from her fat face,  ‘yee ori mi o’ she said and started to rise from her chair.
By then kolapo had started to cry, his hands on his head, Mama Yetty gave him a sharp slap which sent him reeling, hitting his head on the wall.
Mama Yetty told her two of her workers to grab kolapo and take him to the police station instructing them to tell the officers to release him until he pays her debt or punish him severely.
Kolapo squirmed as he was being dragged away, he begged and cried at the same time all his pleas falling on deaf ears.

TO BE CONTINUED…………………